Monday, December 18, 2017

Am I Normal? Christmas and a Wedding

Planning this wedding around Christmas time has made me realize either I am not normal (whatever that is) or the rest of the world may be crazy.
I'm not a huge fan of a large part of the Holidays. I love the lights and food and being with family but I don't like the pressure to buy more stuff. I know "I don't have to buy it" but what do you do? Not give your kids and grand kids gift? I want them to know we care. At the store yesterday Cowboy and I were both stressed, though I kept joking and goofing off to make light of the situation I could tell Cowboy was ready to bolt. We both made up excuses to get out of there and "Do it Later". At our age we help our kids when they need it, spot them a $20 or help out if we have it, take them to dinner and still buy them a haircut, gas or clothes even though they are young adults. We know it's hard and we like to help. So buying more at Christmas seems forced. Though we do it.
Yesterday I told Cowboy I wanted to do something very practical and give them a gift box of basically personal items we use every day and a book on Financial planning. We purchased them all a gift or four depending on the budget we had given them. They may open this box and wonder what was mom thinking. That's okay. It will save them money with out giving them more money which I don't like to do at Christmas.
This year I told them something you want, wear, need, and read. Only one kid listened. Why do I ask. I should just say give me a list.
I've ask all the adults except a few who have no other family to not give gifts. I would rather sit down and talk to you and share a meal.

The Wedding...

I am so grateful we decided to do this at home but man the pressure is still there. I won't go into details and I know it's me not those that keep asking me questions but I want to do it my way. Sometimes I feel like I am being passive aggressive in digging in not to follow the norms. Yesterday we went to the deli bakery and the sign for a basic wedding cake $140. I said "Cowboy we are ordering 4 dozen white and chocolate cupcakes with white icing". We don't even eat sweets so this is for our guest. Total for 48 cupcakes $24. When he saw that a basic wedding cake was so expensive he was grateful that I am the way I am.
On the flowers my mom has generously offered to buy them and I have to keep reeling her back in though. I am quite sure she doesn't want to tell the designer florist that her daughter only wants a baby's breath bouquet. Mom was dreaming of orchids.
On the pictures I have ask our small group of guest, mainly our family to take pics and share them with us and I will print them out on a free app from my phone.
On the music I said in the email invitation (Emily Post just rolled over in her grave) "If you like to make playlist I love old 60's and 70's music and Cowboy loves old Country. If this is your thing then please make one." If no one does we will just put in a cd or turn on the radio or t.v. music. See I don''t really care about all of that.
What I do care about. I care that you are comfortable. I care that there is love and friendship, family and fellowship. I care that everyone has a full belly and lots of laughs and feels loved. I want the people around me not to suffer and have an experience of love and happiness. None of that depends on what you get for Christmas, what kind of flowers I hold, if we have a fancy cake, if there is music on or lots of talking. Love and Kindness come together around a shared meal and an atmosphere of belonging and love. As Maya Angelou said "It's not what you do that matters it's how you make someone feel", that is what they remember about you.

2 comments:

  1. I so love this Courtney! It sounds a lot like my 2nd wedding...at home, my future mother-in-law made her famous chocolate coconut cake, beautiful red roses from Walmart, meat, cheese, vegies, etc.from an aunt and uncle, wine and a keg. It was wonderful, homey, loving! Good luck and above all, enjoy! Luvs!

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  2. Btw, that was me above! 😆

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