Simple Wedding with No Arts and Crafts Required!

Our wedding was beautiful and simple and I wouldn't change a thing.
Cowboy and I were engaged over five years ago. Cowboy wanted a big wedding and he had all kinds of grand ideas that included horses and lots of people and bands and it went on and on. Me I was like "can we run to the JP ?". I don't like all the big wedding stuff and attention and the planning, ugh. The planning makes me crazy. It seems like such a waste of time and energy and mostly money. The point is that two people who love each other want to commit right? I know I sound like the Grinch who stole the Wedding but this is my third wedding. Once for less than a year (I was 18 don't judge), then for twenty years. I've been with Cowboy six years and finally agreed to get hitched but there was one thing "No big wedding!".
So finally after 3 to 4 attempts he said "Ok Honey". Good Lawd he is harder to train that a  wild Mustang Horse!
So I'm frugal but not cheap. We could have spent the money on a wedding but why? I would rather have a new driveway. Ever the romantic that I am.
So here is how we did it. And by the way I am writhing this for all you folks out there that want simple and do not want to do arts and crafts. Why is that always a theme when you look up simple weddings????


Simple Wedding Cowboy /  Hippie Simple Mamma Style:

1. Jim wore his normal "Fancy" attire, this meaning funeral, wedding, going out to a nice dinner, going to church, or going out on a Friday night. Starched Wranglers, starched shirt, big ass belt buckle, and he cleaned his boots just for me. He did add a tie and a jacket since it was an "extra special day". Cost $0
2. I wore my friend Erin's former brides maids dress.  I borrowed a shawl and earrings from mom and slipped on a pair of matching sandals I have owned for at least seven years. See pic. Cost $0
3. My mom wanted to do the flowers so she did my mantle, the bouquet for me and my bonus granddaughters bouquet and the centerpiece. She tied ribbons on our gate and two places on the road. It was beautiful. All I wanted was baby's breath but she wasn't having me just havin' fillers! So I said "Ok antique pink roses". I think it was about $250 for flowers.
4. Rings: We went to look at rings and I just couldn't find anything I liked and my engagement ring has a middle and two sides and maybe is a little fancy for an engagement ring, it can serve as a wedding ring. So no cost there as it was purchased a long time ago. I decided I don't need more to keep up with. Jim chose a Titanium band as it looked best. The budget was $600 but we only spent $139.
5. The invitations. I chose to send out an email (I know, I know Emily Post just turned over in her grave) to my family and close friends and said "This is what I am doing and if you would like to come we would love to have you. We chose to only have 40 guest ,mostly family and a few close friends.
6. We did no tables, just chairs, and there are tables and what not around our house. I borrowed 26 chairs from a friend and used what we had to set up a church like pew scene in our living room.
7. It was New Years Day so I made black eyed peas, cornbread from Cracker Barrel then I cooked three low sugar desserts (Jim and I eat healthy). I bought 48 cupcakes, chocolate and vanilla with whipped icing and we served them on a tiered tray (mom brought her husband and wife from her last cake and sat it on top). My friend and family brought a side dish instead of a present (if they wished to, I left this optional). Booze was two "Nice" boxes of wine, a six pack of Miller Lite and a bunch of flavored and plain waters in a bucket of ice. We also borrowed ice buckets for drinks and ice. We served the food on fancy paper plates, clear silver wear (plastic) and fancy plastic wine glasses.
8. I asked friends who would like to participate to please take pics and share. I promptly downloaded them and used the free pic app on my phone to order 25  for $3.99.
9. Music, My friend Rena brought her Bose speaker and played two songs. "Your Love Amazes Me" by John Berry for Jim and Gracie to walk out to then "A Thousand Years" for me to walk out to.
10. Jim's boss, Judge Cassady married us. It was beautiful and the vows were simple. Fairly standard with a bible verse.
11. My mom also borrowed some lanterns from a friend and brought electric candles ( I bought a bookoo of cheap batteries).
12. I did my hair and makeup and my friend did some ringlets right before the wedding. I even shaved my legs to the top and put on lotion!

All in all I can't say how much the wedding cost but all total I would say about $1000 to $1200 and it was amazing.
After the wedding I changed into boots, a sweater and leggings.

I would do it exactly the same if I had to do it over again!

Love and Light,
Courtney

Simple Makeup, Clothes and Hair

My first week on the challenge. What have I done and how have I done it.

Resourcefulness Challenge 2018

2018 Resourcefulness Challenge:

No shoes
No books
No clothes
No purses
No jewelry
For one year!
She here why and how.

Am I Normal? Christmas and a Wedding

Planning this wedding around Christmas time has made me realize either I am not normal (whatever that is) or the rest of the world may be crazy.
I'm not a huge fan of a large part of the Holidays. I love the lights and food and being with family but I don't like the pressure to buy more stuff. I know "I don't have to buy it" but what do you do? Not give your kids and grand kids gift? I want them to know we care. At the store yesterday Cowboy and I were both stressed, though I kept joking and goofing off to make light of the situation I could tell Cowboy was ready to bolt. We both made up excuses to get out of there and "Do it Later". At our age we help our kids when they need it, spot them a $20 or help out if we have it, take them to dinner and still buy them a haircut, gas or clothes even though they are young adults. We know it's hard and we like to help. So buying more at Christmas seems forced. Though we do it.
Yesterday I told Cowboy I wanted to do something very practical and give them a gift box of basically personal items we use every day and a book on Financial planning. We purchased them all a gift or four depending on the budget we had given them. They may open this box and wonder what was mom thinking. That's okay. It will save them money with out giving them more money which I don't like to do at Christmas.
This year I told them something you want, wear, need, and read. Only one kid listened. Why do I ask. I should just say give me a list.
I've ask all the adults except a few who have no other family to not give gifts. I would rather sit down and talk to you and share a meal.

The Wedding...

I am so grateful we decided to do this at home but man the pressure is still there. I won't go into details and I know it's me not those that keep asking me questions but I want to do it my way. Sometimes I feel like I am being passive aggressive in digging in not to follow the norms. Yesterday we went to the deli bakery and the sign for a basic wedding cake $140. I said "Cowboy we are ordering 4 dozen white and chocolate cupcakes with white icing". We don't even eat sweets so this is for our guest. Total for 48 cupcakes $24. When he saw that a basic wedding cake was so expensive he was grateful that I am the way I am.
On the flowers my mom has generously offered to buy them and I have to keep reeling her back in though. I am quite sure she doesn't want to tell the designer florist that her daughter only wants a baby's breath bouquet. Mom was dreaming of orchids.
On the pictures I have ask our small group of guest, mainly our family to take pics and share them with us and I will print them out on a free app from my phone.
On the music I said in the email invitation (Emily Post just rolled over in her grave) "If you like to make playlist I love old 60's and 70's music and Cowboy loves old Country. If this is your thing then please make one." If no one does we will just put in a cd or turn on the radio or t.v. music. See I don''t really care about all of that.
What I do care about. I care that you are comfortable. I care that there is love and friendship, family and fellowship. I care that everyone has a full belly and lots of laughs and feels loved. I want the people around me not to suffer and have an experience of love and happiness. None of that depends on what you get for Christmas, what kind of flowers I hold, if we have a fancy cake, if there is music on or lots of talking. Love and Kindness come together around a shared meal and an atmosphere of belonging and love. As Maya Angelou said "It's not what you do that matters it's how you make someone feel", that is what they remember about you.

What not to do when saving money.

There are lots of things you can do to save money but there are a lot of things you don't do to save money. Basically it's about choices. You can't do everything all the time. I'm having a big struggle with this one right now. I'm a saver, however I love to go out to eat with friends and so this is the one area where I do spend a little more, but I don't shop very often unless I need something, I don't drive an expensive car, and my house is modest. I struggle to buy things often because I was raised with a use it up, wear it out, or do without mentality. Grateful for this on one hand because it's made me a frugal saver on the other hand this year my accountant told me I needed more expenses so I could buy new office furniture (ugh..I was going to just paint my Granny's old desk). Right now I'm trying to figure out if it makes sense to spend money to save on taxes..this one has me perplexed. Maybe a post on that when I figure that one out. For now there are lots of things you can "not" do to save money.

I'm not a fan of "negative' words but I think this is the only way that the point gets across on this one.

Don't go shopping for things you don't need. I don't shop unless I need something, it actually causes me anxiety to shop.

Don't wash your clothes until they are dirty. If I wear something and it doesn't get dirty I hang it back up. I generally wear something three times before I wash it unless I work out or get sweaty in it.

Don't go out to eat as often. I have a few standing lunch dates with friends but we usually meet at restaurants that have lunch specials or I simply just save my money and use it for this one thing I really enjoy, it's not so much about the food as it is the company.

Don't drive a new car every few years. I had a paid for car but due to some repairs it needed and the amount of travel and the fact that I was a single mom at the time I wanted something super safe and reliable so I purchased my first new car in over twenty years. I bought one that was cheaper than what I could afford and put down a huge down payment, I pay more on it every month and should have it paid off by the three year mark. I feel safer in this car because of the all wheel drive especially if I'm out in the middle of no where in a storm or bad weather. This was a conscious well thought out choice.

Don't pay the minimum payments on any loans. I always pay my credit card in full each month (this is a work card). On my car note I always add at least $50. There are some lean months for me that I can't but if I have extra I always add more. When I get a job that pays a little more I pay the debt first and sometimes pay double payments. When I sale my other home (we have moved) I will pay my car off and there will be no debt.

Don't go to expensive events very often, opting for free or inexpensive entertainment.  There is so much to do this time of the year but much of it is very pricey.  My birthday is coming up and I purchased a chiminea used online and ask a friend to come over and we are making some appetizers and sharing a bottle of wine by the fire. This is cheaper and more fun for me than a bunch of people going to a restaurant.

Don't replace things until they need replacing. Really struggling with this one as we built a new house, it's smaller and the land is bigger (we saved to buy the land) and hardly any of my old furniture fits in here. It's crazy, the house is smaller (by 1000 feet) and I need smaller, taller furniture. My old furniture looks out of place and needs replacing. My accountant told me since I built the house in this year that the office furniture is 100% deductible and everything else I can deduct the tax on (9%). So I'm weighing this one out. I've decided to do the office furniture only if I can really find what I like and to only buy what we don't have that needs to be replaced. Mostly I think I need to start donating and take the tax deduction.

Don't buy an expensive magazine ($10) that says how to save money on meals when you can easily find bean based, plant based, and cheap healthy meals online or in cookbooks from the library or that you probably already own.  This happened tonight. I love to cook and I saw this magazine and it was $10 with cooking healthy and cheap. I thought "I know this stuff". Beans, plants, peas, carrots, potatoes, onions are all cheap. Processed food, meat, and exotic foods are not. This is not rocket science. The best way I have found to save money is to make a list and a menu plan. This never fails to save me money.

Don't overbuy on Christmas. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because there is no fuss other than the focus on food, family and gratitude. This year we have two mortgages as we try to sell one house and I'm exhausted from moving, working and oh yeah...I'm getting married in two weeks. I told the kids (we have six and three grandchildren) that they were getting limited presents this year and I'm not doing stockings this year for the kids. I want it to be more about family and gathering together than about stuff.

Don't fall into the expensive keep up with the Jones trap. You can buy a used prom dress, and do your kids really need a high school ring (mine didn't even ask) that they will not wear after they graduate. Do you need an expensive wedding. We are getting married in three weeks and only because Cowboy finally agreed not to have the big wedding. I was dead set against it. First of all it's ridiculously over priced. We did plan one and I cancelled it because seven to ten thousand dollars for one day is crazy to me. We are getting married in the living room. I sent out an email to my family and closest friends and said be here at 2 on Jan. 1st if you want to be at our wedding. Please bring a dish instead of a gift (we need nothing) we are providing a vegetarian meal and asking for sides. My mom is borrowing some lanterns and we will have tea lights for candles. The cake will be small and is a gift from my mom with some basic white and green flowers. We will get married in front of our mantle in our cabin. There should be about thirty or forty of our family and friends here. I'm asking the kids to put together a play list and bring a speaker. I'm going to ask the guest to take pictures and share this with us. We will eat, laugh, hang out by the fire, eat and drink and keep it simple! No thank you cards required either, take your dish when you go!

Have a great holiday.

Love and Light,
Courtney

Back to Simplicity

Back to Simplicity

In my thirties (I'm almost 47 now) I had an aha moment sitting in the school parking lot. I had been struggling with that age old feeling I had in school that somehow I just don't fit anywhere. I had my yoga and I had my family but somehow I still felt like a square peg in a round hole. I was driving an older model mini van and looked around me and saw so many of the same kind of SUV I couldn't believe it. In that little parking lot  I counted fourteen SUV's that looked exactly the same, same model, same color, same everything. I realized then that I didn't want to follow, I needed to find my people.We had just built a new  to me house in a great neighborhood with a lake view. We were drowning in debt. In my modest little van I had an awakening that I needed a simpler life.

Raised by Depression Era grandparents I was a black belt at thrift but bought into the idea of "Deserving" a new house, etc...My ex husband had just graduated college yet again and got a good job and I thought we could afford it. I was wrong. After 3 years in that house we were at a $1400 a month negative on our income. I found Larry Burkett and Dave Ramsey at the Library (I couldn't even afford a book). We cut the cable off, we got rid of the credit cards, I took another part time job ((I already taught yoga five times a week). We had a talk about selling the house. We found a house, the house I am in now, moving from tomorrow after fourteen years. We sold the house bought a house 1/2 the size with half the mortgage and none of the prestige. I began taking classes and volunteer leading classes on simple living. I studied and worked as a volunteer on sustainability, in this area of my life I was very pleased.

Several years later I divorced and all of a sudden taking a van load of recyclables to the recycling center was not on the priority list. And making my own pizza crust and brown sugar really went off the list. My only priority was feeding my kids. Our (the kids and I) income dropped about 80% overnight. Again I took another job and decided that I would have to work twice as hard to build my business to keep working for myself. I worked for myself and a non profit for about two years and was able to only work for myself after that, however fast forward six years and I am working seven days a week, I end up with about 4 days off a month and usually end up working part of those days to catch up. So life isn't simple at all.

My life is yet taking another turn. My fiance of five years and I move to our farm tomorrow. We are getting married in a few months and with a lot of thought I have decided once again to close a thriving business, my yoga school of ten years. For the years I was married it was a side gig. It was a little extra money but nothing I could live on. In the past six years I've built it up to a thriving successful school with about 25 students per year along with other endeavors. Why close a thriving school? Because I am  tired. My life is not simple anymore. I eat out to much because I'm to exhausted to cook. I buy new clothes because I need to look professional. I bought a new car because I drive about 40,000 miles a year teaching workshops and training teachers. I have a house cleaner because it's cheaper to pay her per hour and go to work. I have people to mow my yard because I can't do it.  I love it, much of these luxuries but I'm to exhausted to really enjoy them. I feel blessed but I had this aha moment as I was talking to one of my teachers who works as hard or harder than me. I told her "You can't work all week, nights, and weekends without burning out.", and then I thought "I do that!". So I have an 18 month plan to let go of nights and weekends, I now work four to five days a week as a yoga therapist in a medical clinic, about ten hours a week.

I'm again reading my old tattered books on simple living. This time though it's not about money or being in debt, those principals I stuck to and that has  put me in a place where I have more freedom to let go, I'm not rich but I've avoided all debt except a small car payment and my mortgage. I'm in "Time Debt". So here is my plan and maybe it will help some of you who have a debt of your own. Maybe it's a financial debt or time debt or simply an enjoyment debt.

Things to do to simplify.
I will slow work down and let go of some of these things and do them myself.

1. Clean the house yourself over a house cleaner (Saves up to $100 a week)
2. Do the yard yourself (saves over a $110 a month) 1 and 2 also give you exercise.
3. Exercise at home and let go of the expensive gym membership or get a cheap membership at some place life Planet Fitness. We have this and love it, I consider it money saving in doctors bills and medicine. 
4. Cook more plant based meals at home. Meat is the most expensive item you can buy at the store. Beans, grains, and veggies and fruit not only make you healthier they reverse many diseases  and they are cheaper to make. 
5. Grow a garden.
6. Keep the furniture you have and paint it or fix it up.
7. Buy used furniture at estate sales and online.
8. Make do with what you have. 
9. Borrow things you only use once in a while.  We recently needed fence post holes dug and paid our neighbor to do it cheaper than we could rent the machine to do it. This was a big farm job.
10. Downsize to a cheaper house. 
11. Sell the expensive car if you can and buy a cheaper one or keep the car you have and work on paying it off and drive it longer. That is my plan. It's my only debt and I'll pay it off soon. When we save up enough we will buy me another nice used car and give Jim my old car to drive because it's economical on gas. 
12. Use the entertainment you already have. It you really enjoy your cable etc.. then utilize it instead of going out for entertainment. Or get rid of it and get a ROKU stick and use Netflix or Amazon Prime. I do this and it cost me only $20 bucks a month. Jim loves to watch some shows that come on Direct T.V. and we were able to get that for $60 dollars a month long term. We don't however go out much and love to be at the farm. We also love to snuggle on the couch and watch a show together. 
13. Go through your closet and pick out only what you love. Don't think about it. Now hang only that back up. You will be shocked at how much easier it is to get dressed and how much less shopping you will need to do. Put everything else somewhere else (like another closet) and if you don't use it get rid of it by selling it.
14. Learn to sell online, clothes, furniture, you can sell tons of things. Be careful meeting people in public.Most police stations allow you to use their parking lots for this.
15. Take free classes or barter for things you enjoy. You can also YouTube anything from yoga to meditation. 
16. Make family a priority. 

Love and Light, 

Courtney

Courtney Butler is the author of "The Mud & The Lotus: A Guide and Workbook for Yoga Students".

She is a yoga therapist, stress management specialist and loves personal finance and the act of living a simple life. She enjoys spending time with family, being in nature, working out, reading and writing. She lives on a farm in Arkansas with her fiance Cowboy Jim and three horses, three dogs and two cats. 

*The picture is Courtney and her son's Cole and Will. 

Using What you Have Creatively

The past six years I've worked very hard and increased my income to poverty to starting to feel comfortable. However,  due to the nature of being self employed there are times of the year that get really tight due to what one could call an "off season". At those times I have to be mindful of where money is going but normally not extreme like I had to do for many years. This year due to an error that was out of my control I ended up having to use my savings to cover some very large unexpected expenses. I'd already agreed to a large investment in my business that I was under contract to meet. So what did this mean? It meant I had to use all my savings to cover those bills and live on what I make from one contract that was far less than my monthly bills.
For a while I was feeling panic rise up in my body. I knew that I had the ability to save, cut back, make changes, be resourceful, but it had been so long since I had to do black belt creative tightening I wasn't sure if I could remember.

Reflecting on this I was thinking about what I have learned over the years and what I have been doing to make this hurt a little less until things pick back up. 

1. First of all live under your means. I cannot stress this enough. It feels somewhat hypocritical because right now I own two houses. We have one for sale and one we are building. The deal is both payments are less than what we could afford by industry standards. This goes for my car as well. If you take your income and you take out 30% your consumer debt should be under this, this goes for your car, house and any other debt. When it came time to build we built a house that is smaller and more efficient. When it came time to buy a car I did get a new one but I did not buy the most expensive, I chose one that met my needs but was substantially less than what I could afford. I also put down a large down payment and have paid it down substantially by paying more on the payments when I had the money.

2. Save when you have money so when you don't you are not forced to go into debt. I teach meditation for a living and one thing I tell people is we meditate when things are going well and when things are not we have that resource we can call upon to deal with stress. Meditation allows us to look at our thoughts and actions objectively so we slow down and make good choices and at the very least it helps us deal with stress. Saving money is something you do when you have it so when you don't you don't end up borrowing money and getting into trouble.

3. There are always ways you can cut back. See it as a challenge almost like a game and it becomes rewarding not a punishment. When financial stress happened to me this year I got out my budget and took a good look at my monthly bills. For years I had to use a paper budget because money was tight enough that I had to know where every dollar went. Over the years I had gotten to a point where it was automatic and I could just pay the bills and balance my checkbook without worry of constantly looking at a budget. I also had an idea of how much I could spend and not spend, it was automatic. However now it was time to get back on board with a stricter plan. I took a hard look at my budget and was able to free up $333 dollars a month in bills that were not mandatory. I was paying for an extra insurance policy that was not something I had to have and I temporarily stopped payment to my retirement. I can always make a lump sum payment when things pick back up. I also started being mindful of eating more at home, we eat vegan at home and this saves a ton of money as meat is expensive.

4. Be creative and look at your current subscriptions and what you have. I have a membership to a gym that is only $20 a month and it's on contract for a year so I can use that for no extra cost any time. It included perks like chair massage so that is another thing I can do if I want to do something fun and not spend extra money, bonus healthy and happy! I also have a membership to Amazon Prime which gives me movies as well at Kindle Unlimited benefits. These are benefits I paid for already are not something I am paying for monthly. I can read tons of books at no extra charge, watch many movies and documentaries for the one time I cost I paid for at Christmas time. The fact is most of the time when I go out and  pay for a meal at a minimum of $22 with tax and tip, I think to myself "I could have cooked a simple meal at home and it would have tasted better". When we go to the movies (they no longer have our cheap movie night or we would do that) it is always about $40 to $50 and it's just not worth it. Jim makes popcorn on the stove and we cut up some fruit and enjoy a movie on our couch for pennies.

5. Take time to enjoy the fact that you are resourceful and creative and you have mad survival skills. It's a handy skill and eventually leads to financial independence. It also leads to a higher sense of self esteem as you take control of your life. If you are struggling I suggest listening to, taking a class on, or reading Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. I started with his mentor, the late Larry Burkett, when I was younger and have followed FPU for years now. I credit it to helping me stay the course or get back on when I get off. Sit down and add up all that you owe then add up all that you make and the value of what you own. Then come up with a plan to pay it off. I won't go into details here but you can easily find "The Baby Steps' online from FPU. When you take charge you lose that feeling of floating in the financial abyss. Money doesn't have feelings, where your money goes or doesn't go is part of our choices. We will and do make mistakes but nothing is not recoverable. Even in the worst of times you can take control and you can figure it out. Believe in yourself.